A homily for the Sixth Sunday of Easter
When I was newly ordained (quite a few years ago now) Father Roy told me a story when he was newly ordained, which was sixty years before that. An elderly Carmelite in the priory was dying and they were taking turns to sit up with him at night, so that if he needed anything they’d be there and he would not die alone. And it was Roy’s night. He fell asleep in the chair and the guy woke him up making noises. So Roy gets up and says, “Do you need another blanket, Father?” No. “Do you need slippers?” No. “Do you need another pillow?” No. And he keeps pointing to his pillow so Roy reaches under the pillow and there’s a checkbook under there. And he pulls out the checkbook and hands it to the dying Carmelite. And the dying Carmelite holds it tight – until he dies. It sounds like a terrible story, but I think we all have a checkbook. We all have something that we’re holding tight that we don’t want to let go. You know, some wound maybe, somebody said something, or somebody dumped us. Or maybe some accomplishment that we just want to boast in. Give all the ego – some ego thing. It’s a lot of stuff. Each of us, I think; each of us has a checkbook. In today’s gospel Jesus says, “I give you a new commandment, love on another as I have loved you.” Saint Therese of Lisieux says, “how is that possible? How can I love my sisters as Jesus love them?” “But it’s a commandment and he does not command the impossible, so I will allow Jesus to love my sisters through me.” That’s exactly right. Saint Thomas Aquinas uses the term “vacare Deo” for the same idea. That when we pull something away or give something up, we release it; God fills that vacancy. Vacare Deo. Vacancy for God. But it’s hard to give the checkbook up. Even Saint Teresa of Avila – the great saint – says, “Lord, I do not think that I can give you everything that you ask of me, but I will allow you to take it; and I pray that I don’t try to stop you.” We can’t give up the checkbook but we can ask God to take the checkbook – whatever it is. And I think that we all have something; but the more we give this up, the more “vacare Deo,” the more vacancy for God, the more God fills us. And then it’s God’s love that fills us, and we love one another with that love. Therese is right. Teresa is right. Vacare Deo.
