A Carmelite homily for either Tuesday (John 13:21-38) or Wednesday (Matthew 26:14-25) of Holy Week
I like to read the advice columns in the newspaper. And just this morning a man wrote in. He has hearing aids. He doesn’t like to go to his grandkids’ graduations because he can’t hear anything. It’s always in a gym. The acoustics are bad. He doesn’t want to go to graduations. So the reply was: graduation talks are always kinda the same so you’re not missing anything even if you heard well. It’s mostly about the graduates and you being there to support them. Being there to congratulate them. Not to listen to the talks. It’s not about you; it’s about them. And I think that’s the heart of today’s gospel. Judas didn’t get that message. It’s all about him – about money, or about power, or about authority, or about jealousy. It’s all about me. It’s all about me. It’s all about me. I think that’s the heart of the betrayal. He never changed to ‘it’s all about you; it’s about God; it’s about others.’ What can I do? The arrows are used to going in but sometime in our life they have to start going out. Saint Teresa of Avila had that same conversion experience. Here’s what she writes. Oh, she was a nun. She entered the convent because she didn’t want to get married because of the deplorable state women had in the state of marriage. So she entered the convent out of convenience. And she loved to gossip there. She loved meeting with people in the parlor. She was an observant but not a very fervent sister till this moment. She writes; this is from the Book of Her Life: “It happened to me one day upon entering the oratory I saw a statue for a certain feast to be celebrated in the house. It represented the much-wounded Christ. And it was very devotional so that beholding it I was utterly distressed in seeing him that way. For it well-represented what he suffered for us. I felt so keenly aware of how poorly I thanked him for those wounds that it seemed my heart broke. Beseeching him to strengthen me that I would no longer offend him I threw myself down before him with the greatest outpouring of tears.” That’s her conversion moment. Where it was no longer about me, my power, my control, my entertainments, my satisfaction, my selfishness, my needs. And it’s about Christ. It’s about neighbor. It’s about the other. It’s about the sisters. The arrow turned around that day. She calls it her conversion moment. That’s what, I think, is the call not only of any gospel but especially this one, where Judas didn’t get that message. He didn’t get that memo. If we don’t turn it around, woe is us.
